I took Calculus twice before I passed it (and I mean barely passed it). Ask me if I’ve ever had to apply all those lovely tangent and cotangent equations to any situation in life thereafter and you’ll hear a grateful ‘hell no!’
I am however, only now beginning to truly understand the law of averages. Specifically, the idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jim Rohn famously stated this and there’s great merit to it. Having taken huge leaps in my life and not knowing where I would land has taught me that you need a strong support group. This group can’t do anything for you that you aren’t willing to do for yourself but they can provide the motivation and inspiration you often need to get and keep going.
It’s important to look around at the people you spend the most time with and honestly ask yourself if you drive each other to the next level. Successful people surround themselves with other successful individuals. You can have a ton of degrees under your belt and be the top of your class, industry or occupation, but it won’t matter if you don’t surround yourself with people who can support your growth. Remember the childhood taunt: “takes one to know one”? Well, it’s true. You become a success by recognizing in others what it takes to be successful. Book smarts and theory will only take you so far. There’s nothing more encouraging than taking a cue from someone who has already achieved what you’re working to achieve or is at least successfully learning along the way with you.
List the five people you spend the most time with. They may be friends, family, colleagues or your significant other. You may only be able to rhyme off two or three people and that’s ok. Just take a look at everyone who makes up your regular interactions.
Take the time to evaluate your relationships with all of them. Do you challenge each other? Do you encourage each other to achieve your goals? How passionate are they about what they have and want? How enthusiastic are they? What do they do and how do they live their lives?
If you’re really honest with yourself you might see that you don’t quite have the support group that you need. Recognize who takes you up and who drags you down. Gradually decrease the time you spend with the people who won’t challenge and support you in becoming a better version of yourself. Increase the time with others who are like-minded and encouraging. Reach out to your existing network and build stronger relationships with the right people that aren’t currently part of your top five. You’d be amazed how many people you have direct access to that haven’t become a regular part of your life. (More on this in my next post about the 20/80 Principle).
You may find that you need to cut people out of your life that you’ve known for years. We’ve all held onto relationships that aren’t serving us simply due to the fact that we have a long history together and can happily reminisce about the ‘good ole’ days’. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you not only have a great history together but are also growing together.
Sometimes you have to lose something to win something.
All Things C 