Math I Can Finally Use

I took Calculus twice before I passed it (and I mean barely passed it). Ask me if I’ve ever had to apply all those lovely tangent and cotangent equations to any situation in life thereafter and you’ll hear a grateful ‘hell no!’

I am however, only now beginning to truly understand the law of averages. Specifically, the idea that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. Jim Rohn famously stated this and there’s great merit to it. Having taken huge leaps in my life and not knowing where I would land has taught me that you need a strong support group. This group can’t do anything for you that you aren’t willing to do for yourself but they can provide the motivation and inspiration you often need to get and keep going.

It’s important to look around at the people you spend the most time with and honestly ask yourself if you drive each other to the next level. Successful people surround themselves with other successful individuals. You can have a ton of degrees under your belt and be the top of your class, industry or occupation, but it won’t matter if you don’t surround yourself with people who can support your growth. Remember the childhood taunt: “takes one to know one”? Well, it’s true. You become a success by recognizing in others what it takes to be successful. Book smarts and theory will only take you so far. There’s nothing more encouraging than taking a cue from someone who has already achieved what you’re working to achieve or is at least successfully learning along the way with you.

List the five people you spend the most time with. They may be friends, family, colleagues or your significant other. You may only be able to rhyme off two or three people and that’s ok. Just take a look at everyone who makes up your regular interactions.

Take the time to evaluate your relationships with all of them. Do you challenge each other? Do you encourage each other to achieve your goals? How passionate are they about what they have and want? How enthusiastic are they? What do they do and how do they live their lives?

If you’re really honest with yourself you might see that you don’t quite have the support group that you need. Recognize who takes you up and who drags you down. Gradually decrease the time you spend with the people who won’t challenge and support you in becoming a better version of yourself. Increase the time with others who are like-minded and encouraging. Reach out to your existing network and build stronger relationships with the right people that aren’t currently part of your top five. You’d be amazed how many people you have direct access to that haven’t become a regular part of your life. (More on this in my next post about the 20/80 Principle).

You may find that you need to cut people out of your life that you’ve known for years. We’ve all held onto relationships that aren’t serving us simply due to the fact that we have a long history together and can happily reminisce about the ‘good ole’ days’. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that as long as you not only have a great history together but are also growing together.

Sometimes you have to lose something to win something.

The Necessity of Change

Sometimes you’re ripe for change and you pursue it. You might be in a relationship that just isn’t quite working anymore. Or maybe you know that it hasn’t been working for a while and you have only now come to terms with that fact. You might be dragging yourself to work every morning, convincing yourself day in and out that your fat paycheque makes up for the fact that you’re unfulfilled. Either way, you’re ready to make a change – pronto.

Sometimes change finds you. Your significant other might want out. You may have known that he or she has been unhappy for a while because you’ve been arguing a lot lately. Or you might be completely blind-sided and honestly may not have seen it coming. You may have been unexpectedly laid off from work. When change comes knocking on your door (and it will) it can often be shocking.

Whether you choose to make a change or change sneaks up on you, there will probably be an element of fear involved. Let’s be honest – change can be scary. The key is recognizing that change is inevitable and necessary. Without change, you’ll never be challenged to grow.

Change is inevitable. Day always turns into night. Monday always turns into Tuesday. Change will happen whether you want it to or not. So why fight it? Embrace change. Turn it on its head. Redefine it. Make it an opportunity. Own it.

Change is necessary. Change results in growth. If you retain a comfortable status quo forever, you’ll be the same person at 34 that you were at 28. In this case, you’re merely surviving. Surviving is not the same as living. Every change is the opportunity to tweak how you live your life. You may experience growing pains but never lose the lesson. Every change is a chance to redefine your life. Embrace the lessons that come with change. Build on those lessons to figure out what works and doesn’t work for you.

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.” ~ Steve Jobs

Ctrl+Alt+Delete

It’s very likely that when one thing goes awry in your day and you internalize it rather than let it go, one thing after another follows closely behind. The snowball effect winds up making what could be a good day, not so good after all.

There’s nothing better than consciously deciding to start your day again from scratch. Whether it’s 5pm, noon or 9 in the morning, stop and reboot. I’ve always been a proponent of the old adage: ‘fake it ’til you make it’. So when your day appears to be destined for the dumps, smile. Smile when you don’t want to and smile like your life depends on it. Your brain will eventually catch up to you and *poof* your energy is reset and your day can’t help but follow happily behind.

Science proves that it’s possible to change the mind with the body. Amy Cuddy recently had a TED Talk that focused on exactly that. Her research on body language shows that we can change other people’s perceptions and even our own body chemistry through the way we carry ourselves. Sometimes, half the battle is just convincing yourself that things aren’t really that bad. If you can keep your chin up and keep going, you can not only get yourself out of a slump but also take others along for the ride.